Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (PC) - Dark Side 3:39 - Carlos Wolfe
Speed run of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords in 58 segments across 6 files, completed on June 1 2006. Available in three versions: low/normal/high quality DivX.
SW:KotORII is a role-playing game developed by Obsidian, set in the Star Wars Universe, four thousand years before the Galactic Empire. It tells the story of a mysterious ex-Jedi who is returning from self-imposed exile, missing since the end of the Jedi Civil War at Malachor V. The game's engine is an evolution of BioWare's Odyssey, used on the first KotOR game, with numerous new features. The combat system is based on d20 rules, meaning you don't have to aim to hit, you roll instead. More about the game can be found here
The run is done in 3 hours and 56 minutes, over 58 segments, using the PC version and normal difficulty. The end of the game is quite abrupt, just throws you back to the main menu after the last conversation. So I also provide an alternate 58th segment with a bit more dialogue, and showing the in-game timer and load screen for each segment. In addition to the individual segments, I've created six planet-sized "chapters" collecting the videos in a sensible fashion, each 30-50min long, with the slightly longer ending:
This is a pure dark side run: the Exile (main character) took no light side choices at all, achieved and maintained Dark Side Mastery. Also, the Exile does not die at all in the entire run.
The Exile is a male jedi consular named Coatl (after an old word for snake), built with high STR & WIS, very low DEX & INT. He uses no skills other than persuade & security. He is a single-handed dueling jedi. Also, he has written the detailed run comments himself, in character. Please excuse him.
For main attack, I chose a single lightsaber. It is said that dual sabers, or a two-bladed one, are better, but I aimed to maximise to-hit. Also chose critical strike instead of the more obvious flurry. With a keen LS and MCS, you hit a critical 50% of the time, including on extra attacks due to speed, and it doesn't impact your to-hit. With flurry all attacks hit as normal. Also CS has the nice stun chance. I find the damage comparable with dual-wielding flurry, specially as I hit more often early. And frankly, single-handed lightsaber dueling is what being a Jedi Master or a Sith Lord is all about. You didn't see Palpatine with one of those dual-bladed contraptions, did you?
Throughout the run, I skip most fights & loot. Skipping all possible is not advised, however, as lack of equipment & XP can kill you later. A lot is left to chance, as the contents of barrels and corpses are mostly random. I end up picking up a lot of crap.
It also should be mentioned that unlike Kotor1, in this game your party doesn't need to be with you when you leave a level - as long as they are alive, they'll teleport to you as you enter the new area. Your party is also more lenient about teleporting to you if they get lost or for cutscenes. This is quite useful.
As with all runs of a game, there are spoilers below.
==Bugs & Glitches==
My first attempt to run this game was light-sided, and planned to use no bugs or glitches, as that is a light-side thing to do. On this run, however, and under the auspices of the dark side, I abuse three known bugs/glitches:
- Prologue [seg#01]: If you take the droid in the prologue and pick up loot, it will stay in your inventory when the game proper starts. It's questionable whether it's a bug or by design. I take most of the loot from the ship. It takes about a minute and a half.
- Handmaiden [seg#21]: After you get battle precognition from Handmaiden (which adds WIS bonus to DEF), you can ask her to get dressed, undress her and ask her again, obtaining a free handmaiden robe each time. I do this 18 times, allowing the exile not to worry about cash or components. Takes a bit under 3 minutes.
- Hanharr [seg#34]: After gaining influence with Hanharr and doing all his dialogue, an opportunity appears to rerun a specific conversation branch. Each time this is done, the Exile gains 1000XP and a DSP. Hanharr gains +2STR and -2INT. I do this for almost ten minutes (you can skip viewing this segment altogether, there's no action), taking me from level 9 to 16. As Hanharr's INT wraps around 0 to 255, he ends up with about 150STR&INT, but I don't fight with him anymore.
But this is a buggy game. I also encountered two other glitches:
- Bao-Dur seemed happy to give me more than his usual 10 shields or so.
- A crystal in my lightsaber disappeared, leaving the bonuses (+1to-hit, +1to-dam) in until I changed the colour crystal.
I did not abuse these, as they weren't part of the plan.
:Detailed run comments:
[OOC: As this is a Role-Playing Game, I couldn't resist the temptation to write the run journal in character. Out-of-character entries noted by 'OOC'. Apologies in advance.]
SCENE: Kolto tank opens. Bald guy in pointy beard awakens and looks about confused.
Uh? What's going on? Last I remember we were partying hard on Malachor V. We had won the war, raped and pillaged, and drank the fleet dry. Man, what a hang over. Oh, and that Twi'lek jedi gal! "Hi, I'm Aalya" she said, "You are General Coatl, aren't you?". "Yeah", I said, as she wrapped herself around me and took me away. What a wonderful piece of... Ah, the things she could do with those lekku... She left me her phone number! I put it in my wallet. My wallet... where is my wallet!?
I left my wallet at Malachor V. It contains the phone number of the hottest, kinkiest, greenest babe in the galaxy. I got to go get that pronto!
So let's see. I'm naked in the middle of nowhere. Okay. Good thing I used to be a bad-ass Sith Lord, with utter command of the Dark Side of the Force. Can't feel it now, but it's like riding a bike. It'll come back to me.
Now, what's the quickest way to get to Malachor V?
==I. Peragus [segs#01-10]==
So I start running around like a headless chicken. I find an old hag who I know will insist on tagging along. Fine. Also a witless closet case called Atton. Fine. I gain a level! I feel that old Force thing kicking in. Speed. Yeah, that's a good spell to learn when you're in a hurry. OK, let's roll to the underground of this awful place.
More running around, and I'm back where I started. Hey, what an annoying talking robot. Shut up, will you? Let's gather the posse and go raid the ship that just docked... Now run around the ship utterly ignoring these shifty sith-wannabe dudes. Let's get to the other side! The old witch stayed to make out with a walking corpse. Great.
Now Atton gets to show why he's our "demolitions expert". He goes forth and expertly gets rid of all the mines. That "stayin' alive" power will come handy. More goddamned robots. And mines. Oh well, our expert to the rescue. Then the little tin can navigates through fumes and magically summons us to the ship. Some target practice, and we're off! Burn Peragus Burn!! That'll teach ya.
==II. Telos [segs#11-21]==
Ah, the Ebon Hawk. Home sweet home. Apparently, in order to get to Malachor, we have to go to Telos first. Fine. What? Jail? Oh, well. And they took my ship. Bummer.
This ithorian dude Chodo says he'll get me a shuttle if I run a couple of errands for him. The things one has to do. OK, got him a droid. Now he wants to kill this Slusk fellow. Whatever. The little creep guarding his door and this Vula chick are fodder to my dark side lust. I'm so evil I'd twirl my mustache if I had one.
What's that Chodo? Another droid run? Oh, what the hell. OK - but this is the last time! He sends me to the shuttle, but calls me in transit to tell me the mercenaries want to kill him. He must be mistaking me for somebody who gives a shit.
Planetbound! Some dude with horns who won't shut up wants to tag along now. Fine. I leave them behind and run like hell until we get to the Czerka site. This fight is a bitch! don't they understand I'm in a hurry? getting everyone to the console is murder, but it happens. Underground we go again.
[OOC: this fight (seg#15) is by far the toughest of the early game. Too many bad guys, everyone has to survive, not a lot of eq, and do it quick! Takes many tries and a lot of luck. At the end, it takes a while for the console to become responsive.]
Turns out BaoDur can break shields. Woohoo bonehead, you go first. Lots of poison and robots, but I manage to stay alive. Found the next shuttle, but there's more station to clean up. Yet another dude wants to tag along. Screw him, let the old hag kill him. Start the reactor, get the launch codes, dropkick the huge robot, and off we are to...
...what, Frigids-R-Us? Big underground polar palace of top-shelf babes, each icier than the last. Screw this. You! Boss Bitch! Give me my ship!
Ah, the Ebon Hawk. Home sweet... hey! What is this icy stowaway wench doing here? Fine - stay in the trunk. I'll kick your arse and get you nekkid 18 times. Now shut up and don't talk again.
==III. Korriban & Nar Shaddaa [segs#22-31]==
The droid showed me the jedi masters in the council. Reads like a to-do list. I'm sure each one of them buggers would have swiped my wallet if they were in the neighbourhood - gotta kill them to make sure they aren't holding out on me. Then I'll get to Malachor.
We'll start with Korriban. Oops, it's done. That was fast. I seem to have seen that walking corpse again. I'll have to kick his butt if he keeps bugging me. Turns out that Lonna Vash was killed there, and she didn't have my wallet. She did have a handy lightsaber piece. Back on the ship, another gal wants me to kick her butt and let her join the posse. Fine.
Channeling John McClane: "Now I have a light saber, ho-ho-ho". Yippeekayay motherfuckers. Off to Nar Shaddaa, let's get this Zez-Kai Ell guy out of the picture.
I leave the passengers on the ship. Got to get through this fast. I pick a fight in the docks, bribe a bat, manipulate a shopkeeper and brush bystanders off as fast as I can. I do dawdle too long at the shopping lists, though. Now off to the refugee sector to wax this Saquesh fellow. Put up more of a fight than I hoped, but with him out I can go back to the... who the hell are you and what are you doing on my ship? I give my brand new lightsaber a workout on the way. I get Atton and Kreia dressed up for the next part, but they both get hopelessly lost. I allow the intruder boss to leave the ship with his boarders in an expeditious fashion. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. Buggers.
Having paid my dues, the cthulhu-head boss Visquis deigns to give me a call and invite me to his trap at the Jekk-Jekk Tarr. Big monkey growls at me. Hanharr. Whatever, dude. I am hit by a dart and fall asleep. I dream of Atton playing shoot-the-twi'lek, badly. I wake up and smell jedi. A friendly barrel gives me a useful robe. Off I go to the Jekk Jekk Tarr, full of people who want me dead. Nope - barely saw them. The snake head runs underground, but I follow, barely stopping to torture a minion. Oh look, scary tunnels.
* * *
Ogg! Me Hanharr! Me growl this bitch to death! Grr. Growl! Voices in my head! "Learn Repair" they say. Growl. Hanharr good punching bag. Grr. Mines blast doors good! Grr. Growl! Growlbench! Uh, Workbench, I say! Grrr. Finished, run back out. Growl. Uh, bad jeedai! Oh, growl.
* * *
OK, tunnel door open. Monkey business, surely. Running around a lot of surprised-looking hunters and dogs, who prevent me from taking center stage. Nonetheless, I hear Goto's tale, see Visquis die, and sit down for a quiet trip to Goto's yacht. What, me worried? The posse is about to earn its keep!
Kreia and Hanharr come on board. After a pitched battle, they rescue me. Hanharr assumes the role of demolitions expert and gets rid of the mine fields. I play a bit with the computer, and off we go.
Zez-Kai Ell, probably the jedi with the worst acting voice in the galaxy, is waiting for me. I trod on a mine on the way, and his horrid droning was killing me! He mercifully went down in a few rounds, leaving me almost dead. But hobbling is as fast as running, and I got places to go. Back to the Ebon Hawk!
==IV. Dxun & Onderon [segs#32-37]==
Onderon is closed, so we land on the jungle moon. Jungle, eh? I'll bring the monkey. Quick run through the wilderness, we meet Mandalore and run back out to the jungle. This is a long process of killing critters and collecting loot, in the process getting a big-turtle ear, a sackful of cannock-shit that's supposed to be a phase-pulse converter, and the monkey's growling respect.
[OOC: segment #34 is the abuse of the Hanharr conversation glitch. It's utterly boring and 10 minutes long. Sorry.]
After an eternity of talking to Hanharr, I feel more experienced. I chat with Mandalore and the sith-wannabe invade the base! Hanharr runs to the workbench to improve my lightsaber, and I go make mincemeat of the invaders. It takes forever, but eventually Mandalore decides it's time to go to Iziz.
[OOC: I can't find a reliable trigger to finish the sith battle and go to Iziz. It apparently takes as long as it wants to.]
Kreia says I'm a Sith Lord again. Cool. Just like riding a bike, I said. Seems in order to get Kavarr I have to solve a murder mystery. Whatever. Run around Iziz. Agitate the masses, it's fun. I don't like this old fart guarding the sky ramp, let's get rid of him. It'll also encourage that Vaklu person to do my bidding. Some thugs show up and fall like flies, leaving random loot behind. Hmm, nice stealth belt, thanks.
I run around for a while getting clues to this murder thing, until I get that Dhagon guy out. He wants one more scalp from the cantina. Fine. I also stop to chat with this chick who says she's got a nice crystal for my lightsaber. Now let's see Kavarr.
Hmm... It'll have to wait, it seems. That Vaklu dude better keep his side of the bargain. Know this: I'll be back!
Run like hell to the shuttle, and we're back on the Ebon Hawk in no time!
==V. Dantooine, plus Dxun/Onderon Redux [segs#38-47]==
These leeches that the universe saw fit to send me as a team are a curse. They won't shut up! The endless drama! Screw them, I'll do Dantooine by myself.
So let's see. This creep Vrook is who I want. The lady in the building says he may be in the old Jedi enclave. Hmm... infested with overgrown cockroaches. Whatever. I find of Vrook's fate in this big room with an annoying chubby guy. OK, seems Vrook is in that cave over there, then. And I know the old lech likes Twi'leks and was snooping around Malachor, so he may very well have my wallet. Hurry! To the bat-cave!
This cave has ever so many critters. Try to run around them. Got stuck for a bit. Vrook is captured! Har har, serves him well. Leave him there. Oh, looky! A glowing crystal formation! Just yell "boo!" at the cockroaches to get by quickly...
This ugly Azkul person wants to kill the administrator. For some reason he thinks I should care. I tell him to shut up and take me to Vrook. He gives me money. Maybe he ain't all that bad.
Turns out Vrook escaped from the cave. Why am I not surprised. He claims innocence about my wallet. Whatever, down you go. Didn't put up much of a fight. What do you know, he didn't have my wallet after all, but this red crystal will look good on my lightsaber. What was BaoDur thinking, giving me a green one? Do I look like Yoda to you?
So much for Dantooine. Let's see if the we can get Kavarr at Onderon again. Back to the jungle moon. Mandalore and this Tobin character tell me we have to split the group. I crown Visas as emissary, I'll take the witch and the trash can with me.
Getting Visas ready takes forever. She took my stealth belt! She takes Hanharr along as demolitions expert, who stupidly activates the wrong shield. She leaves the others behind and flies! See Visas run. Run Visas, run! She stops for a breather to change levels, and off she goes again. Only the last three guys to take care of. Don't forget to return my belt!
Iziz. I said I'd be back. So you're the famous General Vaklu, eh? You will give me all your force sensitives, forever! No questions! These are not the droids you're looking for! I have evil evil plans for them. Muahahaha. Well, not yet, but I'll think of something. Muahahaha.
Easy run up to the palace. Level 18! This lightning thing sure is handy. They tell me I need to clear the wings first. Fine. North wing yields a nice robe. South wing has a Twi'lek that claimed not to have Aalya's phone number. Off with his head!
I knew I brought these two along for something. Upgrade my lightsaber, if you please. There's a big lizard in front of me. I know I'm but a puppet in a larger universe, and my strings get tangled for a moment, but I pull through and kill the ugly beast.
Ah, Master Kavarr. What do you know of a certain wallet, with a certain phone number of a certain Twi'lek goddess? Nothing, you say? Well, I'll rip the truth from your corpse! Oh, he didn't have it. Must be at Malachor after all. Oh well. Back to the Ebon Hawk.
==VI. Endgame [segs#48-58]==
Can we go to Malachor V yet? No, let's see what Kreia wants with Dantooine. My spider sense is tingling. Argh! Betrayed! I'll hunt you down like a dog, you wretched crone! Hmm. Force Crush, eh? Sounds useful.
So it's back to the ship. Follow the scent of prey to Telos, and the polar palace of popsicles. Handmaiden goes for a catfight. Just get out of the way, wench!
Hello Atris. I don't think you have my wallet, but I hate your guts anyway. Feel the Force, bitch! Kreia talks to me from glowing triangles... gotta quit drinking. "Go to Malachor" she says... well, I've been trying to!
But no, we get diverted to Citadel station again to deal with Visas old boss, some masked avenger with a batman costume. Fine. Get through the station quickly, and board the Ravager with Visas. Time for her to do her stealthy magic again. There she runs through the ship like it was empty, setting bombs. We all then get summoned to deal with the masked dude.
[OOC: The non-intuitive route for planting the bombs is necessary, as Mandalore teleports to you on the third one - getting onto a fight unless it's in the long corridor.]
He's not as tough as he looks. Visas stuns him, and he goes down, like all the others. Visas does her stealth magic on the way out as well, pulling us from a fight as the Ravager explodes.
NOW can we get to Malachor V? We can? Great! Bumpy landing, but here we are. I hate this place, I always get lost. My wallet is probably at the core past the academy, where the party got going. With my pants. Long way to go still.
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. Luckily there's just these noisy kermit-the-frog-on-steroids things. Gotta get them all. Now a door and their grandaddy. No sweat. Hey, the Academy!
The little flying ball wants to go play with consoles. Fine, let him. At least the frogs are cleared away. Now I run through the academy. My chief weapon is fear. Fear and surprise. Surprise and fear. And a thermal detonator. I'm through.
Ah, Darth Sion, you ambulant maggot nest. You've been hiding here all along, haven't you? What do you know of my wallet?! "Kreia has it" he says, "she always had it". Could it be? Treacherous hag has been playing me all along! I kill Sion. He comes back. Darned energizer-bunny-sith. He finally stays down. I don't even wait for his carcass to hit the floor. I'm after Kreia, and I want answers!
"I'm here to kill you, Kreia" I say. "I know. I've destroyed your wallet. I threw it down into the pit." Argh! She did too, I can see it in her eyes. My anger swells and I mow her down in a couple of strokes. She falls, but instead of yielding, she sends three floating lightsabers after me. Fine, run circles around them, buff up, and hit the old witch again. Away with you!
The core of this planet shall be your grave. I throw her over the edge. As she falls, with her dying breath, she pulls something out of her cloak. It's my wallet! She still had it! It falls into the molten core along with the corpse! Gone in a puff of smoke.
:Additional notes & thanks:
If you've read this far, thank you. I had a lot of fun making the run and the comments, I hope you enjoy them.
Thanks go to Radix and the SDA team for a kick-ass site, to the great community in the forums, to Dan Simpson and DarthMuffin for their wonderful FAQs, and to the makers of this very addictive and rich game.
Feel free to share this as you like; credit is nice, but not required.